We Don't Say Those Words in Class!

I remember one time last year when I was Christmas Shopping I had seen a young boy (probably between the ages of 3-5) point an older lady and said “hey mom, look she has no hair. How come the lady has no hair? I thought all women have hair.” The lady had explained that she had been sick lately and she had lost her hair (due to Chemotherapy).  The mother had been so embarrassed that he son had been staring at the lady and that he had asked what had happened. The mother had apologized for her son’s rude questions and the lady had said that she understood because many people have come up to her and have asked. The lady had also taught Kindergarten and knows first hand that young children are naturally curious. After the lady had left the store the mother to her son that it is not nice to stare at other people nor is it polite to ask questions because some people do not like to talk about things that are personal. The mother had used a calm voice to describe this because she felt that yelling was not going to solve anything.

            The messages that have been communicated to this child is that there are time when it is inappropriate to ask personal questions because some people do not like to share personal stories with strangers. It is also not polite to stare at people nor is it polite to point. I feel that the mother had handled the situation well because she had explained to the child what he had done and why it was wrong. The mother did not raise her voice nor did she hit the child. A child understands things much better when they are spoken to directly and are not being yelled at.

            An example of how an anti-bias education might have responded to support the classrooms understanding is to explain that people are different and that some people are private people and do not like to explain their personal lives to strangers. I would also explain that some people have diseases that cause them to lose their hair and that eventually the hair will grow back. I feel if children understand what is going on around them they become better aware of things. I also feel it is important to talk to a child and not yell at a child because yelling does not help a situation. I also feel that parents need to praise their child for things they do correctly not just when they do things wrong.

Start Seeing Diversity Video” Blog: Gender, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation

      The way I would respond to a parent/family member who informed me that they did not anyone who is perceived as a homosexual or transgender to be caring for, educating and/or interacting with their child is that I would say is that in our Pre-school we teach our students the imporatance of getting along with everybody and that the school does not discriminate based on race, gender or sexual orientation. In our society, the role of a typical American family has changed drastically. Some people are raised by single parents, other may be raised by either two mothers or two fathers and there are some who may be raised by one mother and one father (like I was). I think it is important to teach our youth that it is not right to prejudge people nor is it acceptable to treat someone different just because they are not the same race, gender, sexual orientation or religion.
     I have never used any of these terms, but I have had heard of an incident once when the term tom boy was used. I had a friend named Sylvia who hated to wear dresses and always wore jeans (her family was so poor she only owned one pair of jeans). The girls teased her because she never dressed up as a girly-girl. The boys did not like her because she was always taller than them. I feel that this comment had hurt her in her adult life because she had unfortunately committed suicide when she was a freshman in college. I feel that these comments affect all children because they hear these terms and many of young children may not know what these terms mean, but they hear them either at school or on TV and feel that it is acceptable to repeat them. I feel that if other children question their sexuality they might be afraid to share their feelings in fear they may get teased next or even worse beaten up. I feel that this may also cause bullying which is a big issue that most schools are dealing with. There have been several suicide cases involving young people who were teased about their sexual preference that they felt if they were not around anymore they could not get hurt.

Note of Thanks

Dear Class,
  I just want to take a few minutes to thank everybody for their help and guidance throughout the semester. I know that many of us will be going into different programs so I want to wish all of you the best of luck. This has been a great program and I have learned  a lot from everybody. I hope that we will all keep in touch and hope to see everyone at graduation. Please stay in touch.
lovebunny225@yahoo.com

Team Development

   I feel that anytime I work in a group it is hard to say goodbye. When you are working closely with people you get to know them and get to learn about their backgrounds. If you are lucky you become friend's with these people and hope to keep the friendships going for years. Yes, I feel that high-performing groups are especially hard to leave because you spend a lot of time with these people both at either a work or school setting and also outside of either work or school. When you have a high-performing group you all tend to share the same common goals and are all compassionate about the work you put into the project.
  For me the hardest group for me to leave was when I had worked on a group research project. My group had done a paper and PowerPoint presentation about Asperger's Syndrome and I had really learned a lot even though I had one group member who had not helped out much at all. I love working with children who have special needs and was glad to have the opportunity to work on a project where I was able to learn more about Asperger's Syndrome. I knew a little about the disability before starting the project, but I had gotten so much more out of the project afterwards. It was hard for me to leave because my other group mate was a lot of fun to work with and because her brother has the disability I was able to find out how the disability not only affected her brother, but the family. I still keep in touch with my group mate and had just learned that she is obtaining her Master's Degree in Special Education and that it was because of the way I had encouraged her throughout the paper and how often I told her that she is very compassionate when working with other people and seeing her desire to teach others.
  The closing rituals I would have liked to see more of was seeing what other projects my teammate was working on and seeing her succeed in her other courses. I think that we should have celebrated us getting a great grade and helping each other out.
  I am hoping that once the class is over and we are obtain our Master's Degrees that we will still keep in touch and continue to encourage each other. I have learned a lot from my colleagues and have always been pleased with the way we encourage each other and help each other out. I have learned so much from my colleagues and feel that these ladies are not only my colleagues, but also my friends. I want to take a moment and thank my friends for all their help, advice and guidance throughout the program. I have had some rough times in my personal life, but because of the strength of my friends in these courses and the encouragement I know I can be successful and I can get through anything that life throws me.
  The reason why adjourning is an essential part of teamwork is because I feel it is important to take the skills we learn from one project and use them again on all the future projects we work on. Building friendships are important and having a network of people guiding you and giving positive encouragement motivates you to want to strive hard to obtain your goals.

Disagreement

  A conflict I had recently experienced was with my husband Randy. Recently Randy had lost his job and as a result we have to move to Nevada and live with my parents. We are moving at the end of this month and things have been very stressful between school and packing. Both of us attend school and Randy's final week is next week and mine ends two weeks later. On Thursday night I had gone into our computer room to do some homework and I had completely lost track of time. Randy came into the computer room asking when are you going to stop doing your work and cook dinner. I had really gotten upset with Randy because he knew that I was busy and all he cared about eating. I yelled back at him, "well, if you are hungry why don't you go to into the kitchen and make yourself something to eat and when I am done I will cook dinner. Then Randy turns around and says, "well we have to be out of here at the end of the month and nothing seems to be getting done except your homework. What about the packing? It needs to be done also". I turned around and said, "well, it is difficult for me to do everything. After all I am only only one person".

The two strategies I have learned that helped me manage the conflict more productively is to talk about things calmly and to listen to each other. Yelling does not solve anything and also calling each other names are uncalled for. I have also learned that if a discussion gets to heated up it is important to walk away from the situation and return when both parties are ready to discuss things in a mature manner.
  I was able to compromise by saying that I will spend the day packing and will pull an all nighter getting my work done. I had also compromised that we will take turns planning dinner and cooking instead of just leaving the responisbility on one person. We also compromised to cut back on spending time on the computer (except for school work and an hour for us to do what we want).  The principles of the three R's I have used was respect, reciporocal, and responsive interactions. It is important to respect each other and to interact with each other in a positive way. Compromise is always best when both parties can come up with an agreement. Relationships are about give and take.

Communication Blog

This week my husband Randy and my friend Bob had evaluated my communication anxiety, verbal aggression and my listening profile. All three of scored very similar when it came to my communication anxiety and my listening styles profile, however the major difference in score was my Verbal Aggression. While I had scored a 65, Randy has scored me as a 45 and Bob at a 36. Bob and Randy both thought that I was mild mannered and always respected the view points of others, while I thought that I had a fair balance between respect and consideration of others. The reason why I was so surprised was because I had always thought of myself as only speaking my mind when I felt very strongly about an issue and that sometimes I stick my foot in my mouth before thinking. The scores that Randy and Bob had both gotten made it seem like I am the type of person who listens to others and never defends my position.

      The insights I have gained this week was I am a people person. All three of us had agreed that I love being around people and that I really do not worry when I have to communicate with others in a small group or a one on basis. I had also learned that the way I perceive myself in the verbal aggression category is that I do tend to speak my mind and tend to know what other people are going to say before they finish their thought. My husband said that he knows this part is true because most of the time I can finish his sentences and read his mind. According to Randy, “at first it drove me crazy, but after dating for three years and being married for four years I think it is great that my wife and I know each other so well”. I have also learned that in the teaching profession I need to listen to what my students and the parents are saying before I give advice or try to help them out. I also need to stop assuming that I know how someone feels without having all the facts first. In my personal life I sometimes get mad at my husband whenever I am frustrated and this is something I really need to work on as well. I need to realize that arguing and yelling does not solve anything. When I am upset the best thing to do is to walk away from the situation and go back to the discussion after both parties have calmed down.

Cultural Diversity

  Yes, I do find myself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures. I grew up in the Los Angeles area where most of the people were either Hispanic or Blacks. I am white and I consider myself to be a minority. I feel that belonging to a club at school called Cross Colors Culture Club has helped me get a better understanding and appreciate other cultures. Every year my area has an International Dance Festival where other countries will come and perform their ethnic dances. Last year my husband and I had the pleasure of meeting a young dancer from Japan who was more than happy to share her culture and ethnicity with us. I feel that this was a great experience.

  The ways that I communicate differently with people from different groups and cultures is that I am always careful about what I say so I do not offend anybody. I have a friend who is of Indian Descent (she is from the country of India) and sometimes we have different view points. One thing we do not agree on is marriage. Her marriage was an arranged marriage which is very common in her culture, while my marriage was not an arranged marriage (I got to pick my husband). I feel that a person should marry someone they love instead of marrying someone just because their parents like the guy. I feel that a woman should be able to pick her partner whom she wants to spend the rest of her life with.
  Also, when I am communicating with young children I always bend down to their level so they do not get scared. I feel that a child feels more at ease when you are at their level. I always use easy words for them to understand.

The three strategies I would use to help me communicate more effectively with the people and the groups I have identified are:

1. Choose my words carefully so I do not offend anyone.
2. To learn more about other cultures so I have a better understanding of the others person's point of view.
3. I want to teach my students about other cultures so they have a better appreciation of people and maybe help them grow up in a world where there is less prejudice and racism.