I remember one time last year when I was Christmas Shopping I had seen a young boy (probably between the ages of 3-5) point an older lady and said “hey mom, look she has no hair. How come the lady has no hair? I thought all women have hair.” The lady had explained that she had been sick lately and she had lost her hair (due to Chemotherapy). The mother had been so embarrassed that he son had been staring at the lady and that he had asked what had happened. The mother had apologized for her son’s rude questions and the lady had said that she understood because many people have come up to her and have asked. The lady had also taught Kindergarten and knows first hand that young children are naturally curious. After the lady had left the store the mother to her son that it is not nice to stare at other people nor is it polite to ask questions because some people do not like to talk about things that are personal. The mother had used a calm voice to describe this because she felt that yelling was not going to solve anything.
The messages that have been communicated to this child is that there are time when it is inappropriate to ask personal questions because some people do not like to share personal stories with strangers. It is also not polite to stare at people nor is it polite to point. I feel that the mother had handled the situation well because she had explained to the child what he had done and why it was wrong. The mother did not raise her voice nor did she hit the child. A child understands things much better when they are spoken to directly and are not being yelled at.
An example of how an anti-bias education might have responded to support the classrooms understanding is to explain that people are different and that some people are private people and do not like to explain their personal lives to strangers. I would also explain that some people have diseases that cause them to lose their hair and that eventually the hair will grow back. I feel if children understand what is going on around them they become better aware of things. I also feel it is important to talk to a child and not yell at a child because yelling does not help a situation. I also feel that parents need to praise their child for things they do correctly not just when they do things wrong.
Darlene,
ReplyDeleteI posted a comment yesterday but when I went back into your blog, it didn't show up. In case it appears, I'm sorry for posting my comment twice. I like how you would handle the situation. My daughter's friend lost his hair at 22 years old from chemotherapy. It never grew back. He never tried to hide his head, and appreciated the opportunity to educate people on his type of cancer when they noticed and/or commented on his bald head. He had Ewing's Sarcoma, usually a pediatric cancer, and died from it last year at the age of 25. Some people, like him, may welcome questions. Sharing their story and bringing awareness to their disease can be cathartic. For Charles, he desperately hoped that others would not have to go through what he did. Awareness brings research, and research can help to find a cure.
Hi Darlene,
ReplyDeleteI agree with Susan's comment above that some people may appreciate the opportunity to discuss why they are the way they are; when children ask us questions we may not always have the correct answer simply because we do not know the person and their situation and some people are more than willing to help children answer their questions. I also liked what you said about teaching children that some people may not want to talk about things that are personal and so we need to respect that. You are right, talking about differences to children and helping them develop an awareness will help them develop respect for diversity while at the same time answering some of the questions they may have.