This week my husband Randy and my friend Bob had evaluated my communication anxiety, verbal aggression and my listening profile. All three of scored very similar when it came to my communication anxiety and my listening styles profile, however the major difference in score was my Verbal Aggression. While I had scored a 65, Randy has scored me as a 45 and Bob at a 36. Bob and Randy both thought that I was mild mannered and always respected the view points of others, while I thought that I had a fair balance between respect and consideration of others. The reason why I was so surprised was because I had always thought of myself as only speaking my mind when I felt very strongly about an issue and that sometimes I stick my foot in my mouth before thinking. The scores that Randy and Bob had both gotten made it seem like I am the type of person who listens to others and never defends my position.
The insights I have gained this week was I am a people person. All three of us had agreed that I love being around people and that I really do not worry when I have to communicate with others in a small group or a one on basis. I had also learned that the way I perceive myself in the verbal aggression category is that I do tend to speak my mind and tend to know what other people are going to say before they finish their thought. My husband said that he knows this part is true because most of the time I can finish his sentences and read his mind. According to Randy, “at first it drove me crazy, but after dating for three years and being married for four years I think it is great that my wife and I know each other so well”. I have also learned that in the teaching profession I need to listen to what my students and the parents are saying before I give advice or try to help them out. I also need to stop assuming that I know how someone feels without having all the facts first. In my personal life I sometimes get mad at my husband whenever I am frustrated and this is something I really need to work on as well. I need to realize that arguing and yelling does not solve anything. When I am upset the best thing to do is to walk away from the situation and go back to the discussion after both parties have calmed down.
Darlene, I was glad to read your blog and you stated that the three of you all had agreed on that you all love being around people and that you really do not worry when you have to communicate with others in a small group or a one on basis. Most people can't communicate with each other without freezing up. I really enjoyed reading your blog.
ReplyDeleteDarlene, Your evaluations were the opposite of mine. Most all evaluations were exactly alike except for the fact that others felt I was more relaxed than I actually was. I never thought to have my husband be an evaluator. That may have started an argument! (smile)
ReplyDeleteDarlene,
ReplyDeleteIt's surprising isn't to see how differenly people perceive us. That was the one thing that really surprised me. You think you are projecting one thing and it is perceived differently from someone else.